long time no blog

i haven't decided if i'm ever going to blog again on a regular basis, if i'm shutting down "catching some z's" or just what. my new job (well it's 5 1/2 months new) takes a lot of my energy even though it's only part-time and i find i'm zapped as well on the other days i don't work. and then there's the recent development of my mama needing more of my time with some of her health problems of late (bless her). i'm thankful for the time i've had to blog from october 08 through may 09.....i just don't know if i can keep up!

i saw the movie last week "julie and julia" and it was great fun! blogging played a large role in the movie and it made me long to jump start my blog but when? what do i have to say? what's it all about alfie? sometimes it seems a worthwhile pursuit and other times not. i'm just not sure about this whole blogging business for me.....i don't even have time to read others' blogs and i miss knowing what's up with yous guys!

i miss that sabbatical A LOT. i was off work for 6+ months which is when i began reading your blogs and writing mine.....and now it's back to work i've gone and no can do everything though i certainly wanna.

intercession

instead of praying for certain things for my loved ones several days ago i felt led to thank the Lord for where God had each of them. i'm usually so focused on what i want to be different for my children or spouse, myself or others, what i want from the Lord for these folks. where i want the Lord to take this one or that one. it's all about change and going forward and being in a different place. asking the Lord for blessings and so many things i'm always wanting from Him. asking, asking, asking.  there was such sweet comfort, peace and relief really during this particular time of intercession -  to acknowledge and accept where things are with each loved one according to His will, being thankful and submitting to that rather than asking for things to be different.

on 5.24 i prayed the following prayer:

Father there are many needs but today i just thank You for

>>>>>where she is in her life this exact place You've brought her to

>>>>>where he is with everything right now, exactly in all areas

> >>>> the exact place of Your will

>>>>>> and their 3 children

my friend>>>>> where she is this day

>>>> and >>>> where they are today, thank You

Father, You have designs for Your loved ones,

my life, where i am today, exactly, all that's going on, not going on, the positive, the negative. thank You.

(then i listed many more names)

You have each person where he is for a reason, for Your purpose. thank You Father for this and the confidence i have in Your will, Your purposes. Your plans, Your caring love for each of these, including me. i love You. amen.

can man live without God?

handsome husband read this to me from a book he's reading by ravi zacharias entitled "can man live without God" (1994). it's a satirical poem "creed" by steve turner, the english journalist. see what you think about it.

we believe in marxfreudanddarwin.

we believe everything is ok

as long as you don't hurt anyone,

to the best of your definition of hurt,

and to the best of your knowledge.

we believe in sex before, during and

after marriage.

we believe in the therapy of sin.

we believe that adultery is fun.

we believe that sodomy's ok.

we believe that taboos are taboo.

we believe that everything's getting better

despite evidence to the contrary

the evidence must be investigated

and you can prove anything with evidence.

we believe there's something in horoscopes,

ufo's and bent spoons;

Jesus was a good man just like Buddha,

Mohammed, and ourselves.

He was a good moral teacher although we think

His good morals were bad.

we believe that all religions are basically the same - 

at least the one that we read was.

they all believe in love and goodness.

they only differ on matters of creation,

sin, heaven, hell, God, and salvation.

we believe that after death comes the Nothing

because when you ask the dead what happens

they say nothing.

if death is not the end, if the dead have lied, then it's

compulsory heaven for all

excepting perhaps

hitler, stalin, and genghis khan.

we believe in masters and johnson.

what's selected is average.

what's average is normal.

what's normal is good.

we believe in total disarmament.

we believe there are direct links between warfare and bloodshed.

americans should beat their guns into tractors

and the russians would be sure to follow.

we believe that man is essentially good.

it's only his behavior that lets him down.

this is the fault of society.

society is the fault of conditions.

conditions are the fault of society.

we believe that each man must find the truth that

is right for him.

reality will adapt accordingly.

the universe will readjust.

history will alter.

we believe that there is no absolute truth

excepting the truth 

that there is no absolute truth.

we believe in the rejection of creeds,

and the flowering of individual thought.

p.s. chance

if chance be

the father of all flesh,

disaster is his rainbow in the sky,

and when you hear

state of emergency!

sniper kills ten!

troops on rampage!

whites go looting!

bomb blasts school!

it is but the sound of man

worshipping his maker.

from a house of marriage to a house of mourning

scripture tells us it is good to go into a house of mourning. well i did just that, along with many other friends and family, on thursday as we memorialized virgie, the mother of my friend harriet whom i've known since 7th grade. seems i've known for years the scripture from ecclesiastes 7:2 written by solomon, the wisest man in the world: it is better to go into a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting because that is the end of every man and the living takes it to heart.  but in the service i heard more about this from chapter 7. you know how you've read it or heard it before but then it pops out at you when you hear it again for some reason. this time what i heard was 7:1 the day of one's death is better than the day of one's birth and 7:4 the mind of the wise is in the house of mourning while the mind of fools is in the house of pleasure.

what profundity. tuesday was the day miss virgie died and that was the best day of her life because she died and went into the loving arms of the Lord where her body was healed of all ills and she is seeing by sight now, no longer seeing by faith. oh for the glory of that! the only thing better for her, the preacher said, was being with all her family sitting together in the service. but he said they wouldn't want her to come back just for their grief with all she'd gained in her dying. 

Lord, please bless the grieving in their loss of virgie and as they make this huge adjustment to life without her. praise you that one more believer is in your Presence worshipping you for all eternity, free from sin and sorrow and crying and sickness and now instead of seeing in a mirror dimly virgie sees You face to face! help me each time i go into a house of mourning to reflect on the meaning of life and take to heart as solomon said the lessons therein. amen.

the Bride and the Bridegroom

it was such a pleasure to attend Allison and Michael's wedding this past saturday and have the opportunity to reflect during the ceremony and reception upon the picture of the church as Bride and Christ as Bridegroom and the relationship between the two, something talked about thoroughly throughout the scriptures.

my handsome husband married the beautiful couple but one of the groomsman, also an ordained minister, gave the talk about how the couple's relationship is to reflect the relationship between Christ and the Church.  for example the husband groom is supposed to lay his life down for the bride, as Christ did for the Church. and the wife bride is to love the husband as the Church does Christ.  it was a wonderful reminder not only of that but also of the heavenly reunion to be had when Christ comes again! we look forward to The grand wedding feast and celebration - won't it be glorious?  i can't wait! last weekend was just a foretaste of glory divine.

psalm 62:1-2,5-8,11

my soul finds REST in You alone,

my SALVATION comes from You.

You alone are my ROCK and my SALVATION

You are my FORTRESS.

i will never be shaken.

i can find REST o my soul in You alone

my HOPE comes from You!

You alone are my ROCK and my SALVATION

You are my FORTRESS.

i will not be shaken.

my SALVATION and HONOR depends on You God.

You are my MIGHTY ROCK, my REFUGE

i can trust in You at all times.

i can pour out my heart to You

for You are my REFUGE.

one thing You have spoken. two things i have heard:

that You, o God are STRONG! and 

that You o God are LOVING.

amen!

miriam, the flower girl

miriam was the flower girl at the wonderful wedding this past weekend of allison and michael. she is allison's darling four year old niece. it was a beautiful wedding and reception and miriam did a wonderful job of placing the pale pink rose petals one by one down the aisle before the bride was escorted by her father to meet the groom at the front to the tune of "all hail the power."

it was at the reception that i was most intrigued by miriam's lack of self-conscious behavior and i thought how quickly she'll soon outgrow this precious gift of early life. when the dj began to play the music for the first dance of bride and groom she began to dance around them uninhibitedly with the freedom of an angel as if worshipping God. she looked up the whole time as she danced, hands outstretched, and twirled and spun around the bride and groom as they danced. when it was time for the bride and her father to dance, miriam continued to float freely and dance to the music.  the little one had no idea the whole room (including her proud parents fred and lauren) was focused on her freshness, her energy and zeal which did nothing to take away from the bride but only added to the bride's beauty and the beauty of the reception as a whole. 

it was bittersweet for just a moment as i reflected on how soon this freedom to fly, to dance, to twirl without a care in the world will remain in miriam's life and how that freedom will soon be replaced with the burden of self-consciousness before man and God.  it reminds me of a song, words below, by sara groves who writes that we must struggle to live and breath for an audience of one rather than living for man's approval in the way of self-consciousness. 

that's what little miriam appeared to be doing - dancing and twirling with abandon for an audience of One.  o may she take the beauty of her dancing into her latter years and continue to live and breath for an audience of the One, the only One who truly matters. this must be some of why the Lord says "suffer the little children to come unto me" and "unless you become like children you will not enter the kingdom of heaven."

When I stand before the Lord, I’ll be standing alone  This journey is my own  Still I want man’s advice, and I need man’s approval  This journey is my own  Why would I want to live for man, and pay the highest price  What does it mean to gain a whole world, only to lose my life  So much of what I do is to make a good impression  This journey is my own  And so much of what I say is to make myself look better  But this journey is my own  And why would I want to live for man, and pay the highest price  And what does it mean to gain a whole world, only to lose my life  And I have never felt relief like I feel it right now  This journey is my own  Cuz trying to please the world, it was breaking me down  It was breaking me down  And now I live and I breathe for an audience of one  Now I live and I breathe for an audience of one  Now I live and I breathe for an audience of one  Cuz I know this journey is my own  And why would I want to live for man, and pay the highest price  And what does it mean to gain a whole world, only to lose my life  And you can live for someone else, and it will only bring you pain  I can’t even judge myself, only the Lord can say, ‘Well done.’  Oh, this journey is my own Sara Groves This Journey Is My Own lyrics