for the beauty of the earth

i thot i'd post another beautiful hymn to praise the LORD. He is to be most praised always, but we especially think of our blessings at this time of year during the holiday season. praise Him for our new nest, the safe move of our things into it, the money to move us here, the money to keep us here, God-willing, His choice for us in a new neighborhood after 17 years in the previous one, your prayers for us in this transition, your practical help as needed and more.  as best i could tell, the words were written by folliot s. pierpoint, 1864; music by conrad kocher, 1838.  some of you may recognize the hymn from the wonderful 1994 movie version of "little women."

For the beauty of the earth For the glory of the skies, For the love which from our birth Over and around us lies.

Refrain

Lord of all, to Thee we raise, This our hymn of grateful praise.

For the beauty of each hour, Of the day and of the night, Hill and vale, and tree and flower, Sun and moon, and stars of light.

Refrain

For the joy of ear and eye, For the heart and mind’s delight, For the mystic harmony Linking sense to sound and sight.

Refrain

For the joy of human love, Brother, sister, parent, child, Friends on earth and friends above, For all gentle thoughts and mild.

Refrain

For Thy Church, that evermore Lifteth holy hands above, Offering up on every shore Her pure sacrifice of love.

Refrain

For the martyrs’ crown of light, For Thy prophets’ eagle eye, For Thy bold confessors’ might, For the lips of infancy.

Refrain

For Thy virgins’ robes of snow, For Thy maiden mother mild, For Thyself, with hearts aglow, Jesu, Victim undefiled.

Refrain

For each perfect gift of Thine, To our race so freely given, Graces human and divine, Flowers of earth and buds of Heaven.

Refrain

resting a few minutes

yesterday i was trying to rest a few minutes in the midst of packing and all that came to mind were the words of this wonderful old hymn. i never was able to catch some blessed z's but the resting was fruitful and the words of this hymn a comfort. just now posting as today was moving today! God bless you and yours on this thanksgiving eve.
composed by: mrs. joseph f. knapp, 1873written by: fanny crobsy, 1873

1 Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!  O what a foretaste of glory divine!  Heir of salvation, purchase of God,  born of his Spirit, washed in his blood.  Refrain This is my story, this is my song,  praising my Savior all the day long;  this is my story, this is my song,  praising my Savior all the day long.  2 Perfect submission, perfect delight,  visions of rapture now burst on my sight;  angels descending bring from above  echoes of mercy, whispers of love.  3 Perfect submission, all is at rest;  I in my Savior am happy and blest,  watching and waiting, looking above,  filled with his goodness, lost in his love.

mable and lucille

mable rose and lucille are my maternal and my husband's paternal grandmothers respectively. we cannot thank God enough times and in enough ways for their influence in our lives and especially for their prayers for us.  the effective, fervent prayer of a righteous (wo)man availeth much (james 5:16).

my mother's mother, mable, died december 1996 at the age of 98 1/2 here in arkansas. lucille, del's dad's mother, lives in fresno california. she'll be 99 in 1.09.  she's given us a scare and is in the hospital as i write. first thought to have pneumonia, it was only a mild heart attack. she should be home for thanksgiving, God willing. (amen.)

BOTH of these incredible women of faith are the prayer warriors in our lives.  lucille, granma, tells the story of having prayed for my husband since before his birth, for his salvation, and for whom he would marry. (he was raised in an unbelieving family and snuck out to the shed to read the king james bible he received from the gideons at school tho he didn't come to Christ until he was 17.) (our son is named after lucille's wonderful husband, btw.) mable, my granny, once fasted for 40 days for the salvation of her children (14 of them, 12 lived to adulthood) and 55 grandchildren. (i became a believer at age 10 in an unbelieving household, too.) 

what a legacy of faith and prayer mable and lucille have left us. i do not even qualify to stand near their shadows. (except thru scripture alone, thru faith alone, thru grace alone, thru Christ alone, thru His glory alone.)

a daily dose of ravi

i receive an email daily from ravi zacharias' ministry.  today's was what i needed to hear as i am very self focused, very much a complaining israelite, unappreciative of all the manna and quail falling down upon my head in the midst of moving our tent from one part of the land to another.  i am full of complaint instead of compliance to His will, of terseness rather than thanksgiving for His provision. according to the written Word, this is a complaint against the Lord who is among me (numbers 11:20).  i am glad He knows my frame, that i am but dust but values me anyway, enough to save me from what i deserve through His Son rather than punish me according to my transgressions. (the bolded and italicized parts below are mine.)

11/24/08
From Whom All Blessings Flow
Jill Carattini

The four lines of what is commonly known as the Doxology have been sung for
more than three hundred years.  

Praise God from whom all blessings flow.  
Praise Him all creatures here below.  
Praise Him above ye heavenly host.  
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.
It has been said that the Doxology, which literally means words of glory,
has done more to teach the doctrine of the Trinity than all the
theological books ever written.  To this day, when I sing those powerful
lines, I recall the colorful lesson of my first grade Sunday school
teacher.  With something like cookie dough and bologna magically falling
down on the table before us, she read us the story of a God who made the
heavens rain bread and quail so that his grumbling people might be
satisfied and know that God is God.  I was impressed.  And when we sung
the Doxology at the end of the service, I thought it immensely helpful
that I knew a little more of what it means when we sing that God is the
God from whom all blessings flow.      
  
Cornelius Plantinga Jr. once made the pointed comment that “it must be an
odd feeling to be thankful to nobody in particular.”  He was commenting on
the odd phenomenon of finding, especially around the American celebration
of Thanksgiving, so many people thankful “in general.”  To be thankful “in
general” is very strange, he concluded.  “It’s a little like being married
in general.”(1)  Of course, his words are not dismissing the thought that
it is good to give thanks in all circumstances.  Rather, Plantinga raises
an important philosophical question.  Can one be thankful in general,
thankful for the blessings that flow, without acknowledging from where or
from whom they might be flowing? 

In what remains a revealing look at human nature, Moses describes life
after Egypt.  Rescued Israel was a grumbling people sick of manna, wailing
for meat, even longing to go back to the land God had mightily delivered
them from.  Though their daily bread was actually falling from heaven,
they wanted more.  In the midst of their discontent, Moses revealed God’s
promise for meat, but added the wake up call: “You have rejected the Lord,
who is among you” (Numbers 11:20).      

To our grumbling prone lips, these words are quite revealing.  If being
thankful is by nature being aware and appreciative of things beyond
ourselves, complaining is refusing to see anything but ourselves. 
It is refusing to see the one who is among us.  Moreover, it is an
expression that serves only to affirm our own expectations, whether they
are based on faulty visions of reality or not.  Certainly the Israelites
did not want to go back into captivity, but in their grumbling even
slavery began to look inviting.  Likewise, the falling bread from heaven
ceased to be a remarkable sign of provision from the Father, but
remarkably, a sign of monotony and their own dreariness.  

Our complaints are not only a choice to overlook the blessings around us,
but the choice not to ask where or from whom our blessings come. 
Thanksgiving, on the other hand, makes the choice to inquire.  Being
thankful is therefore always more than a glib note of gratitude or a warm
sentiment in general; it requires something far more personal.  It
not only chooses to recognize the gifts before us, but recognizes that
there must also be a giver.  There is someone to thank.  There is one
from whom all blessings flow.  

Jill Carattini is managing editor of A Slice of Infinity at Ravi
Zacharias International Ministries in Atlanta, Georgia.

(1) Cornelius Plantinga, Jr., “Assurances of the Heart” Christianity
Today, Vol. 39, no. 13.


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self care

some of us are better at self care than others. some do it naturally and don't have to work on it. i'm not one of those. i have to work at self care since i've been so other-focused all my life....but i'm gettin' better. what do i mean by self care? doing things just for me. remember dr. laura's adage tho: nothing fattening, illegal or immoral. uh, um, i'll take two out of three of hers.

i'm typically such a caretaker of others -  a mama, wife, teacher/caretaker in my work. God made us girl types this way, to be the caretakers of this world, even if we work outside the home as well. but what about me? not in a selfish think-i'll-go-to-paris-and-forget-all-this responsibility-stuff (tho that's not a bad idea). {{when i turned 40 i began reading fiction ravenously. before then, i'd read a lot of psychobabble books. one of the beach books i read was about a woman who was so fed up with taking care of others without any appreciation in return, she just walked away from the literal beach vacation, left her family without g'bye, got herself a job and a room in a nearby town. later she DID reconcile, i know you were worried....not a real good idea to put in THIS head o mine. that's why God's Word points us to prov 4:23, phil 4:8 among many others....}}

back to self care....on a daily or regular basis, what do i do to take care of ME? here's a list of some things i do. but paleeeaazzzz don't hear what i'm not saying:  i'm not talking about swinging over to the other side - doing everything for me, nothing for others. balance, girls. balance.

1. rub lotion on my feet when i get in bed at nite.

2. treat myself to coke and popcorn (homemade is the best) for supper on sunday nite in front of the tv in my bedroom. (i used to think tv in bedroom = sin. i was plumb wrong on that one.)

3. when i can blow the money, i go have a mani/pedi at CK salon up the street (hint: i take my own polish for them to use so i can do my own touchups at home to make it last longer).

4. go have my hair washed and blown dry just 'cause.

5. when i travel by air, i always buy a paperback book in the airport bookstore as a treat. it feels so extravagant.

6. when husband is out of town, i pick up us pizza just for me and bring it home, i gotta, it's tradition now.

7. try to have a good book going at all times (with all the falderal in my present life, concentration's not all that great. i'm reading one and another's in line but not getting much read end of day right now).

8. i take at least one girls' trip annually and then i really blow the dollars on mani/pedis and such (hopefully i've saved cash for this but sometimes i go anyway).

9. twice now, i have treated myself (tho once was a mother's day gift so that doesn't count) to a....facial. oy. again i say oy. i wept during the first facial. (if you want a rec for this esthetician, let me know). she said "you okay?"  i said "yes, it just feels so good for someone else to take care of me for a change."

and the 10th thing i do for selfcare??? (a la letterman)

10. go to an alanon meeting, just for me.

i hope you have your own list. whatever is JUST FOR YOU. whatever helps you get by, nurturing yourself as you are nurturing others, in this very serious life we live as sojourners here on earth, passing by on our way to heaven. 

verbal boundaries: PART TWO

here’s a list of phrases to use in your relationships when you are wanting to address these sorts of scenarios (mentioned in yesterday's blog). some of these scenarios are extreme, i hope you never encounter them.  unfortunately, i have counseled those who have. some phrases are repetitious but it helps you - the boundary setter - to hear/read the same things said in different ways.  it also helps the recipient of your boundary message to hear things said in different ways....HOW you say what you say makes a world of difference. work on being gentle in spirit, not sarcastic, but firm.  boundaries aren't to be lorded over someone's head so-to-speak. use discretion. it bears repeating what i said y'day:  i recommend all the books on boundaires by drs. cloud and townsend, there's a whole series.

1. I know you love me, but what you’re saying doesn’t feel like love.
2. I know you love me, but the questions you’re asking me don’t feel like love.
3. Please don’t ask any more about that.
4. I don't appreciate what you've just said.  Please don't ever say that to me again.
5. I'm not comfortable sharing that.
6. You might be right.
7. You might be right, but I don't want you to say that to me any more.
8. I'm not comfortable going into that. 
9. My decision on that (whatever-it-is) is final.
10. I don’t want to discuss it any further.
11. I didn’t ask for your input.  Right now I just want you to listen.  That’s what’s helpful to me right now.
12. No, please don’t go further into it.  I’m not ready to hear your thoughts about that.
13. No, please just stop.
14. Okay, since you’re not stopping, I’m getting off the phone, leaving the room (depending upon your situation).
15. What you just said hurts me.  Please stop that line of talk.
16. What you just said offends me. Please don’t say that again.
17. It is not acceptable to call me names.
18. I didn’t say you’re responsible for my feelings, I just asked you to not say that to me.
19. The words you are using are unacceptable to me.  If you don’t stop, I’m getting off the phone.
20. If you don’t stop, I’m leaving the room.
21. If I leave the room and you follow, I will lock my door.
22. If I feel threatened by you, I will call the police.
23. I don’t want to talk about it.
24. Thank you for your concern.
25. I wasn’t asking for feedback.  I just want you to listen to me right now.
26. You can do what you want to about that, I’m just telling you what I’m going to do.
27. I love you.  This is not about my not loving you.  I’m trying to take care of myself.
28. No.
29. No is a complete sentence.
30. Your behavior is unacceptable to me.
31. Your words are unacceptable to me.
32. That is unacceptable to me.

HBF/07

verbal boundaries: PART ONE

i found this handout in my msw files last nite when looking for something else. thot i'd share it today. i'll share part two tomorrow. to read more on the subject i highly recommend boundaries, by cloud and townsend written from a biblical perspective.

THE CHALLENGE OF SETTING VERBAL BOUNDARIES IN OUR RELATIONSHIPS

What can we say to someone when we’re in the middle of a conversation (on the phone, in person) and it’s going south?  We have this nudge in our spirits that this isn’t the way we want folks to talk to us, but how do we change the direction of the conversation or halt it altogether?  What if they bring up something we don’t want to discuss?  What if we’ve been taught that we’re too sensitive and if what our neighbor says upsets us, it’s our fault because we’re just too sensitive. Or taught that if we don’t let others speak their minds to us, it’s just plain wrong, we’re being selfish.  And if we don’t let them speak it, we’ll lose them temporarily or altogether?  What if when we’ve tried to speak up for ourselves, we’ve been given the silent treatment?  Or it makes things worse?  These dilemmas come up repeatedly in my own life and in my counseling of others.

There is a belief system underneath the pursuit of setting healthy verbal boundaries that goes something like this: 

*I am a separate person from my “proverbial” neighbor and have unique feelings, needs, wants, God’s made me this way, praise Him!

*It’s good and right for me to take care of myself in relationships.

*It’s good and right for me to decide what’s acceptable and what’s unacceptable to me.

*It’s good for me to tune in to what others say that hurts me, rather than ignoring it, so I can address it.

*It’s my responsibility to know what hurts, doesn’t feel good and right in relationships.

*It’s my responsibility to know what feels good and supportive in relationships.

*My neighbors do not know their effect upon me if I don’t tell them.

*Others cannot read my mind.

*Just because I wouldn’t say something negative or untoward to another person doesn’t mean someone else wouldn’t say that to me.

*It’s not okay for others to hurt me with their words.

*(While I’m at it) It’s not okay for me to hurt others with my words.

*It’s not loving towards myself, to continue to allow my neighbor to hurt me. 

*It’s not loving towards my neighbor, to continue to allow him to hurt me.

*It is a loving thing for me to set boundaries with my neighbor.

*It pleases God when I am direct in my relationships. (He was very direct!)

*It pleases God when I don’t hide who I am, at my expense, to please another person. (He’s not codependent, worried about, and trying to control what others think of Him!)

*I will have to repeatedly set boundaries with someone because once is rarely enough.

*I can’t expect my neighbor to “get it” because I set a boundary one time.

*I’m not responsible to make sure I set the boundary the elusively right way so that my neighbor gets it.

*I am responsible to continue to set the boundary as long as it’s necessary, as long as it’s an issue.

*I am encouraged to pray for self-control, not control of others.

*I am encouraged to be angry but not sin.

*I’m encouraged to speak the truth in love.

*I’m not responsible for the outcome when I set boundaries and the outcome is not a cosmic message that boundaries don’t work!

*Let your goal be:  at the earliest hint of offense, set a boundary.  Not after minutes or hours.  Sometimes it takes a long time for us to increase our awareness of when our boundaries have been violated, one reason it takes so long for us to take up for ourselves.  Be patient with yourself in the learning process.                                                                            

 HBF/o7