miriam, the flower girl

miriam was the flower girl at the wonderful wedding this past weekend of allison and michael. she is allison's darling four year old niece. it was a beautiful wedding and reception and miriam did a wonderful job of placing the pale pink rose petals one by one down the aisle before the bride was escorted by her father to meet the groom at the front to the tune of "all hail the power."

it was at the reception that i was most intrigued by miriam's lack of self-conscious behavior and i thought how quickly she'll soon outgrow this precious gift of early life. when the dj began to play the music for the first dance of bride and groom she began to dance around them uninhibitedly with the freedom of an angel as if worshipping God. she looked up the whole time as she danced, hands outstretched, and twirled and spun around the bride and groom as they danced. when it was time for the bride and her father to dance, miriam continued to float freely and dance to the music.  the little one had no idea the whole room (including her proud parents fred and lauren) was focused on her freshness, her energy and zeal which did nothing to take away from the bride but only added to the bride's beauty and the beauty of the reception as a whole. 

it was bittersweet for just a moment as i reflected on how soon this freedom to fly, to dance, to twirl without a care in the world will remain in miriam's life and how that freedom will soon be replaced with the burden of self-consciousness before man and God.  it reminds me of a song, words below, by sara groves who writes that we must struggle to live and breath for an audience of one rather than living for man's approval in the way of self-consciousness. 

that's what little miriam appeared to be doing - dancing and twirling with abandon for an audience of One.  o may she take the beauty of her dancing into her latter years and continue to live and breath for an audience of the One, the only One who truly matters. this must be some of why the Lord says "suffer the little children to come unto me" and "unless you become like children you will not enter the kingdom of heaven."

When I stand before the Lord, I’ll be standing alone  This journey is my own  Still I want man’s advice, and I need man’s approval  This journey is my own  Why would I want to live for man, and pay the highest price  What does it mean to gain a whole world, only to lose my life  So much of what I do is to make a good impression  This journey is my own  And so much of what I say is to make myself look better  But this journey is my own  And why would I want to live for man, and pay the highest price  And what does it mean to gain a whole world, only to lose my life  And I have never felt relief like I feel it right now  This journey is my own  Cuz trying to please the world, it was breaking me down  It was breaking me down  And now I live and I breathe for an audience of one  Now I live and I breathe for an audience of one  Now I live and I breathe for an audience of one  Cuz I know this journey is my own  And why would I want to live for man, and pay the highest price  And what does it mean to gain a whole world, only to lose my life  And you can live for someone else, and it will only bring you pain  I can’t even judge myself, only the Lord can say, ‘Well done.’  Oh, this journey is my own Sara Groves This Journey Is My Own lyrics