the iron bed

favorite daughter has moved out today and she's taken with her the beautiful, white iron bed my mama and dad bought me in a new orleans' antique store on one of dad's business trips. i have had many an "iron bed talk" on that bed and it will be sorely missed, silly as that may sound.   'course i'll miss the beautiful daughter that sleeps on it, too.

we'll continue our prayers just as much as when you lived with us for 21+ years little patootie, lilly bubs et al, because you'll always be the one we sang lullabies to years ago. to borrow a phrase, i'll love you forever, i'll like you for always, as long as i'm living, my baby you'll be.

see you when the sun comes up.

another cultural treat

another excerpt from "I Remember Mama" 2005

I remember....sassafras tea you or my Granny (your wonderful Mama) would make (she was also perfectly planned by the Lord God above and given to you and then me by Him). You'd dig up some roots (of a tree? I don't recall), wash them off real good and boil those roots in some water 'til hot.   Then we'd drink the fragrant hot tea and it was always a treat.  I remember later on coming across a stick of hard candy by the same name and would buy one because of the tea. Along these lines I remember you picking water cress or poke sallet from a cold, spring stream but I never liked to eat those - too healthy.  I certainly wouldn't eat something green that looked like it might taste like spinach.  When I was growing up I mostly liked any kind of potato and coca cola (Coke, never Pepsi and never, ever Shasta cola).

a chaw of sweet gum

in 2005, i wrote what was my version of "the tribute" to my mama in booklet form called "I Remember Mama*."

a dear friend who read the booklet keeps talking about this one story.  sharing it with you today is like a little slice of summer's past on a cold winter day.

I remember....a chaw of sweet gum (and certainly recall the smell of it, as well). This "chaw" was expertly made by you from mixing the hardened sap with very sticky fresh sap in your mouth until the right consistency was achieved.  The sap was handpicked off a sweet gum tree we'd find in the woods of a park or down a dirt road somewhere and you said we had to find a tree that had some injury to the bark.  I learned to identify the leaves of a sweet gum tree so I'd know where to help you look.  You'd always encourage me to make one (a "chaw") myself but that just never quite worked out, because yours was always the best.  Once the right consistency of the gum was achieved, you'd pass the gum to me to chew.  When my jaws were tired out, which inevitably they'd become, the "chaw" was oft' times passed back to you, or even to a brother or sister.

ever had a chaw of sweet gum?

*title used without permission from an old black 'n white movie, 1948, starring irene dunne as a norwegian mama in san francisco (i highly recommend it!)

viva diva neefa feefa

viva is my 9 month old girl kitty, adopted in october from the animal village here in little rock. well, okay our kitty, but really she's all MINE. 

she's gonna be real handy to have around when the emptiness and loneliness come as our nest grows bigger.  i thank the Lord for His Presence always with me and in advance for viva's small presence in the soon-to-be empty nest (or roomier nest i once heard someone call it). 

viva's a little lover girl.  likes to nap with each of us and is a great snuggler. smart & responsive to our instructions, too (tho mostly after the furniture scratchin' and walkin' across the counter). 

viva's full name is viva diva neefa feefa. her last two names are from the heroine in dr. seuss' made for tv story "pontoffel pock and his magic kingdom" (a must see for your kids and you if you can find it!).

aren't you afraid for us?

the last adult child is leaving the nest this friday/saturday. yup. moving out into her own place, she's got that f-time job, the roommate - even the boyfriend. we'll be left with her empty room and 21+ years of memories.

the fireplace mantel (new to us since our move in november) is loaded down with pics of the kids - i mean adult children) and i wondered yesterday if that's not part of the empty nesting, thinking one day there'll be something different up there, some fabulous print i just had to buy. i was going through still more boxes the other day, packing, re-packing and i sprinkled just a few of favorite son's and daughter's school-made things around the living room. they'd been in the kitchen on display for years, then in a box, now back out again. i'd never thought of it before in these terms but there does seem to be a bit of nesting going on even in the absence of the children. trying to make sure their presence is still felt here.

the other nite, sis was gone out. as husband and i sat on the sofa together, we took a gander at my pitcher collection (as in pouring water from), named each one and told a story for each (there are 8).  7/8 of them are animals. it was quite a good time but i've had these pitchers for-ever and never have they been named.

i asked sis the other nite "aren't you afraid for us? we sat home the other nite and named the pitchers? we're gonna do wierd things after you're gone." she laughed a knowing laugh and said "no, i'm not afraid."

we will transcend

my husband and i made it to small group last nite for the first time in years.  we just haven't been able to be a part for a combo of reasons but the time seemed right for us to join the human race again in this particular venue. we anticipated encouragement would be waiting as we got out of our self-absorption and interacted with others we knew would be transparent about their lives. we ate a meal together, laughed and when it came time for requests there was the sincere transparency i hoped for. burdens were unfettered like chains falling off and i could sense the relief as we went around the room taking turns sharing.

this morning when i checked my email, my sis-in-law had sent me a wonderful link to a u tube must-see. all my she said was "for you."

here's the link and it relates well to the reason i need connection with you, we went to church last nite, and about transcending life together.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_4qwVLqt9Q

speaking of cliche's

i LOVE cliche's.  (if there's a way to put the ' where it goes, i dunno how.)

seems in the last few years, i've found myself using them more and more so i requested a book for one gift occasion and favorite daughter (only daughter) supplied! the title is "the facts on file dictionary of CLICHE'S second edition: meanings and origins of thousands of terms and expressions." 2006, by the christine ammer, 1992 trust.

better late than never. let's start with that one since it was the title of my last blog.

pg. 31. a time-honored rationalization for tardiness. it can be traced to greek and latin writers, including the historian livy, and appears in several early english proverb collections.  the full proverb is sometimes stated, "better late than never, but better never late."  there are versions in numerous other languages as well."

sorta disagrees with what i said doesn't it?

better late than never

i don't know about you but as i get older, my birthday wishes, cards, calls aren't as on time as they used to be. not just for birthdays, it might be a grief note or thinking of you, any type of correspondence. and, by the way, i still believe in paper in the mail with stamps correspondence. i hope that art never dies out completely in this computer age.

but the point today is not that, it's really that it's never too late to send that note or even give that gift. i had a birthday recently and i was thinking about a gift i received last year A YEAR LATE.  that was probably the most memorable gift i'll ever receive (tho not the giver's intention). it was a gorgeous, white orchid (with green stem and leaves!). my aunt was not too shy once she realized she missed my b-day the previous year and so she sent the plant A YEAR LATER.

don't ever think "it's too late, i'm too embarrassed, i'll just forget-about-it." go ahead and do it! the person(s) will appreciate the loving deed no matter when it's done. i surely did and still do, a year afterwards. 

texting and our new president

yesterday, right before the new president barak h. obama was sworn into office, i received this text from miss ellen:

God bless America! Where we can have a peaceful transition of power from 2 competing ideologies.

i was thankful to be home and able to watch the proceedings, the parts i was interested in. not in this order, but i was privileged to watch the swearing in, the invocation by rick warren (wonderful that obama chose this very conservative man in spite of the controversy it would bring), the benediction in rhyme by the elderly joseph e. lowrey ending in lots of amens which you know i loved!, the beautiful quartet (no one better than yo-yo ma on cello and itzhak perlman on violin) and poetry reading by elizabeth alexander, the singing of "our country tis of thee" (by aretha franklin, if i'm not mistaken) and the playing of our national anthem by the u.s. navy band.

it was all so beautiful and awe inspiring.  and exponentially so if one is of the doctrinal belief that God ordains whatsoever comes to pass and puts men in positions of authority over us. i'm grateful scripture says not to put our trust in princes, chariots or horses (among others) but put our trust in the name of the Lord our God. obama has a huge task before him and i would be afraid - no matter who was sworn in yesterday -  except for knowing our God is trustworthy in all things. He is actually the President we didn't vote for. He'll never run for office. He is and was and always will be.

correction

i incorrectly spelled miss annie chaires' name in my earlier blog. it is spelled cheairs. her 89 y/o brother-in-law, dr. carl wenger, went to heaven last week and it was a privilege to attend his funeral on saturday where his 3 children spoke.  i found her name spelled the right way. so i thought i'd print a correction. sorry annie, but i know you were used to that your whole life!

green

i love green. 

i don't mean going green as in eco-friendly green but it could end up that way, one never knows.

yesterday for lunch i ate green guacamole in a green bowl with green chips (i kid you not. thus the idea for this blog was born.). we painted our living room in our previous home with a rich beautiful green, the color was grape leaf. as soon as we can get to it, we're going to paint the brown front door to our new-to-us home green and our master bedroom green (it's currently a very dark designer slate and i do mean d a r k).

i just realized that in our home, i have 7 - count 'em - 7 green rugs! and since this house is bigger than the last, look for more.....i have a few empty floors to fill (no carpet here and i'm so happy, no offense meant to you carpet lovers).

i was thrilled when i walked into "my" alanon room several years back and the worker bees behind the scene had painted the whole room.....light green! i don't know why green was chosen but my immediate interpretation was:  green for growth, even if it's slow, faith stretching growth but there's lots that takes place in these rooms and green is an appropriate, hopeful color for those walls.

pretty soon we'll have spring greens to feast our eyes on. i don't mean the kind you eat but i can just hear my mama saying "you mean like a mess of greens we can eat? or polk sallet i can pick and fry up a mess of?" all different colors and shades of green when spring arrives. it'll be marvelous to see the beautiful changes from winter to spring, not that i mind the other seasons at all, there's purpose in each. 

i have lotz of house plants that are.....green! (at least the ones that survive me and those surviving kitty viva now, she's very hard on green.) i can't live without my plants.  they're like my babies. i talk to them. don't you? several didn't do well in the move. one was a tree of sorts i'd had for 17 years and i lost half of it. it's only half the green it was. another had 3 stalks before the move, now it has 1. :(

finally, behind our home we have what we like to call our very own 100 acre woods.  so far they are beautifully wintry looking of course, replete with coyote noises at nite time and even daytime howls can be heard. (tangent: once our whole family was awakened in the nite as if there was a pack fighting in our living room!) we are looking forward to the green to come in those woods and since our house sits up on a hill, we'll be able to look out at those woods and be reminded of the importance of green and it'll be like a slice of green heaven to me.

there's healing in green. i just know there's got to be because the Word says our Father is our Vinedresser. the Son is the Vine.  we are the branches.  if we abide in Him, we shall bear much fruit but apart from Him we can do nothing. we need green. our life depends upon it. think i'm taking green a bit too far? i don't think so. look around. think again!

this is a test of the emergency broadcast system

just kidding for those of you who remember that age-old test. but this is a test of a sort. 

the last time i posted seems forever ago. well, that day mr. blogger did a funny thing. i wish he was a person i could call and say "help!" when i had a question. i posted something on a monday, january 12 entitled "thursday's blog." that came out fine.

then on tuesday, jan 13, i posted "the decision envelope" and instead of the heading being tuesday, january 13, it came up monday, january 12 again. not only that, it then erased the heading of monday, jan 12's blog as if i'd written two posts on the monday. if i wasn't an ocd type, then this would be no big deal but alas, things like this bug me.

it's a bit confuzzing to follow what i'm saying happened or unimportant to anyone but moi. suffice it to say now i'm a bit skiddish about blogging. imma publish this and see what happens right now and see it it's still broken so-to-speak.

regarding thursday's blog

God is so faithful. amen? (i am a preacher's wife. but really i'm a closet preacher myself, like my granny before me.)

i belatedly picked my 2009 verse on saturday, led by Him i trusted. i wrote it down in my journal but also jotted it down to have my daughter write it in her cool handwriting on the back of some old business cards to put around the house in different places so i could see it as i come and go. "these words...shall be on your heart...when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead and you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." (deuteronomy 6:6-9)

and the very next day, what do you think the preacher preached? one of the very concepts contained in the verse.

only He could confirm such a thing like that and so quickly, too. only He is so personally acquainted with all of our ways (psalm 139) - yours, mine, each of ours throughout this whole, wide world.  what's that song we learned as little children? He's got the whole world, in His hands!  He's got the whole, wide world, in His hands!   He's got the whole world, in His hands! He's got the whole world in His hands. 

 

can you hear it?

the decision envelope

don't know when he first begin doing it but sometimes when my husband makes a big decision, he writes it down, puts it in an envelope and lets it sit for a few days while the Lord confirms YES or NO as to the decision he's made. 

last week i couldn't sleep one nite.  my head was swirling with all these thoughts about a decision i was coming to after months of cogitating about something work-related.  finally i got up, went to the computer (thank you Lord for our computer) and wrote down what and how i thought God was leading regarding this decision. after two pages, i hit print, and put it in the decision envelope.  

like a bird sitting on an egg waiting for it to hatch, i just sat, metaphorically speaking, on the envelope and waited for the Lord to confirm, or not, the decision made.  in this case, i waited over the weekend. 

monday morning came. i opened the envelope, read the contents. my heart and the Lord's leading were still in agreement with the contents so it was "a go" -  "a YES."

one time my husband recalls that he pursued the God-affirmed decision in the envelope but over time and thru a series of circumstances God revealed His will did not match the contents of the envelope. this is not a "magic" envelope, it's just one way we've used over the years not be impulsive and emotional about discerning His will and God seems to have honored it.

miss annie chaires

miss annie chaires, may she rest in peace, was my sunday school teacher for several years back in the 1990's. she taught us one thing that i'll never forget and that i still do to this day.  she taught us to ask the Lord, at the end of each year, to lead us to a particular verse to meditate on for the whole of the next year.  the whole of the next year.  every day.  

and put that verse by your bedside, by the kitchen window, wherever you'd see it on a regular basis. i remember her specifically saying this:  "now, in the morning, before your feet hit the floor and you put your feet into your slippers, say that verse to the Lord and pray that He'll teach you what He intends you to learn about it that day." (i confess, this is one part of her plan that i haven't stuck to.) (it's good to take a person's idea and make it your own.)

i've been doing this since 1993 and have attempted to record the verses in my bible since then (there's a few missing in the record) and it's been a great blessing in my life. 

in 1994, a client gave me a gift - a book on the beatitudes - not knowing that my verse for the year was contained therein, matthew 5:6.  only God knew that. 

another year i meditated on a verse on jealousy but the next year i meditated on envy. same but different.

finally, in '07 and '08, i meditated on the same psalm both years as i needed it so badly (psalm 46:10). i'm late now, in choosing a verse with His help for 2009 but i'll find one soon and see how God will bring it to fruition in my life because of miss annie chaires' suggestion long ago.

you won't know 'til you know

it was october of 2007. both of my adult kids had come home to roost, one bringing a puppy. after 9 years, i could no longer do my counseling practice out of my home. but what to do, Lord? should i move my practice elsewhere? should i stop counseling and do something else? take a break altogether? go to work for patti who works with the elderly in nursing homes? go to work for another counseling clinic? the ideas and leads were there but the answers were not. finally, it came to me, something i thought was from the Lord above:  i won't know until i know. 

i was trying to force a solution which is one of my favorite alanon sayings. the rest of it says we become irritable, restless and discontent when trying to force solutions or something close to that. i began to relax. i began to apply the scripture "be still and know that i am God" from psalm 46:10. it was an ah-haaa moment for me and so i waited more patiently and in a few days, the answers came.  i moved my practice to another location, in with two other social workers.

january 2009.  it ocurred to me once again.  i'm trying to force a solution.  once again it's about work. (i think that may be coincidental, maybe not.)  i've been on a sabbatical from work since august and am now ready to return to work this month. but where? continue private practice? work in a hospital setting? go to work for hallmark selling greeting cards? become a teacher in the social work department at ualr? not that i've been asked to do any of these things but while i'm at it, why not brainstorm? but panic has been there for months instead of remembering the lesson from before:  i won't know until i know.  be patient. be still before a faithful, trustworthy God. i'm breathing better already since He reminded me of the lesson i'd already been taught. isn't He great to teach us over and over the things He's already taught us?

true resolutions

i hope my tongue 'n cheek blog the other day did not offend anyone. i can be a real smart aleck if i'm not careful.  in this month's "tabletalk" which my husband takes, there's an article on jonathan edwards' resolutions, unrelated to the new year in edwards' thinking but mentioned in the january issue because resolutions are on all our minds when the calendar rolls over.

during 1722 & 1723, when in his teens and just following his conversion, he wrote 70 resolutions. quoting the article in "tabletalk": "his (edwards') goal in making and keeping resolutions isn't self-fulfillment but the glory of God." here are just a couple.

1. Resolved, that I will do whatsoever I think to be most to God's glory, and my own good, profit and pleasure in the whole of my duration, without any consideration of the time, whether now, or never so many myriads of ages hence.  Resolved to do whatever I think to be my duty and most for the good and advantage of mankind in general.  Resolved to do this, whatever difficulties I meet with, how many soever, and how great soever.

4.  Resolved, never to do any manner of thing, whether in soul or body, less or more, but what tends to the glory of God; nor be, nor suffer it, if I can avoid it.

6.  Resolved, to live with all my might, while I do live.

28. Resolved, to study the Scriptures so steadily, constantly and frequently, as that I may find, and plainly perceive myself to grow  in the knowledge of the same.

29. Resolved, never to count that a prayer, nor to let that pass as a prayer, nor that as a petition of a prayer, which is so made, that I cannot hope that God will answer it, not that as a confession, which I cannot hope God will accept.

67. Resolved, after afflictions, to inquire, what I am the better for them, what good I have got by them, and what I might have got by them.

i am challenged to follow Jesus more intimately by anything the puritan edwards says. if i can resolve to do that in 2009, then all the rest will fall into place and i won't have to set unrealistic goals i'll never achieve like getting up at 4 am, spending hours-long quiet times and the aforementioned sillies in that previous blog. 

i resolve to depend upon and need Him alone as God, not myself as god, reflecting less of myself, my self centeredness, fears and tendency not to trust, to name only a few of my struggles. 

#'s

27: the floor our room was on, nite #1, in this beautiful high rise hotel, alexandria va

28: the floor we moved to because the 27th floor room smelled of cig smoke  :(

26: years we've been married as of friday (1.2.09)

17: beautiful, white, pink and red roses that awaited my arrival at the front desk - i was very surprised!

7: years in a row husband has had meetings here

3: times i've come along using free sky miles - what a gift

4: nites of this run-away-from-home (i am so spoiled, i've always said)

14: days by which we'll miss the 44th president's, obama's, inauguration

1949: 1st televised inauguration, president truman (thx andy rooney)

7: degrees outside, carter's coldest-on-record inauguration (thx andy rooney)

8.2: miles from our window's amazing view to the washington mall (we can see the washington monument, the capitol, the pentagon and the national cathedral and more)

13: minutes driving time to get to the white house from here - hullo george and laura!

3: the Father, Son and Holy Spirit Who make all these #s possible, the 3 in 1

resolutions

i talked with a friend around 10:30 am new year's day.

good morning! i'm so happy today! all is well. i've made some great new year's resolutions and have got right on them. i've been on that diet and have already lost 10 pounds - today! i've walked my daughter's dog and ridden the stationary bike as well!

then i had an hour quiet time. but that was just reading his Word. no, then i praised and worshiped for an hour after that. i've been up since 4 am. that must be what successful people do, they must rise and shine at an early hour.

she played along and said and what about your husband, what've you done for him? oh, yes, well, of course, like you wouldn't believe, serve, serve serve. some things i just can't repeat to ya, you'd be embarrassed but you get my drift.  

and i've also worked on my self care another way too - i've showered, shaved those legs, lotioned up afta - i mean this is the start of a new year honey-chile! oh and i've decided to go de-caf too. can't you tell? i'm just a calm as a sleeping baby, girlfriend!