for the beauty of the earth

i thot i'd post another beautiful hymn to praise the LORD. He is to be most praised always, but we especially think of our blessings at this time of year during the holiday season. praise Him for our new nest, the safe move of our things into it, the money to move us here, the money to keep us here, God-willing, His choice for us in a new neighborhood after 17 years in the previous one, your prayers for us in this transition, your practical help as needed and more.  as best i could tell, the words were written by folliot s. pierpoint, 1864; music by conrad kocher, 1838.  some of you may recognize the hymn from the wonderful 1994 movie version of "little women."

For the beauty of the earth For the glory of the skies, For the love which from our birth Over and around us lies.

Refrain

Lord of all, to Thee we raise, This our hymn of grateful praise.

For the beauty of each hour, Of the day and of the night, Hill and vale, and tree and flower, Sun and moon, and stars of light.

Refrain

For the joy of ear and eye, For the heart and mind’s delight, For the mystic harmony Linking sense to sound and sight.

Refrain

For the joy of human love, Brother, sister, parent, child, Friends on earth and friends above, For all gentle thoughts and mild.

Refrain

For Thy Church, that evermore Lifteth holy hands above, Offering up on every shore Her pure sacrifice of love.

Refrain

For the martyrs’ crown of light, For Thy prophets’ eagle eye, For Thy bold confessors’ might, For the lips of infancy.

Refrain

For Thy virgins’ robes of snow, For Thy maiden mother mild, For Thyself, with hearts aglow, Jesu, Victim undefiled.

Refrain

For each perfect gift of Thine, To our race so freely given, Graces human and divine, Flowers of earth and buds of Heaven.

Refrain

resting a few minutes

yesterday i was trying to rest a few minutes in the midst of packing and all that came to mind were the words of this wonderful old hymn. i never was able to catch some blessed z's but the resting was fruitful and the words of this hymn a comfort. just now posting as today was moving today! God bless you and yours on this thanksgiving eve.
composed by: mrs. joseph f. knapp, 1873written by: fanny crobsy, 1873

1 Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!  O what a foretaste of glory divine!  Heir of salvation, purchase of God,  born of his Spirit, washed in his blood.  Refrain This is my story, this is my song,  praising my Savior all the day long;  this is my story, this is my song,  praising my Savior all the day long.  2 Perfect submission, perfect delight,  visions of rapture now burst on my sight;  angels descending bring from above  echoes of mercy, whispers of love.  3 Perfect submission, all is at rest;  I in my Savior am happy and blest,  watching and waiting, looking above,  filled with his goodness, lost in his love.

mable and lucille

mable rose and lucille are my maternal and my husband's paternal grandmothers respectively. we cannot thank God enough times and in enough ways for their influence in our lives and especially for their prayers for us.  the effective, fervent prayer of a righteous (wo)man availeth much (james 5:16).

my mother's mother, mable, died december 1996 at the age of 98 1/2 here in arkansas. lucille, del's dad's mother, lives in fresno california. she'll be 99 in 1.09.  she's given us a scare and is in the hospital as i write. first thought to have pneumonia, it was only a mild heart attack. she should be home for thanksgiving, God willing. (amen.)

BOTH of these incredible women of faith are the prayer warriors in our lives.  lucille, granma, tells the story of having prayed for my husband since before his birth, for his salvation, and for whom he would marry. (he was raised in an unbelieving family and snuck out to the shed to read the king james bible he received from the gideons at school tho he didn't come to Christ until he was 17.) (our son is named after lucille's wonderful husband, btw.) mable, my granny, once fasted for 40 days for the salvation of her children (14 of them, 12 lived to adulthood) and 55 grandchildren. (i became a believer at age 10 in an unbelieving household, too.) 

what a legacy of faith and prayer mable and lucille have left us. i do not even qualify to stand near their shadows. (except thru scripture alone, thru faith alone, thru grace alone, thru Christ alone, thru His glory alone.)

a daily dose of ravi

i receive an email daily from ravi zacharias' ministry.  today's was what i needed to hear as i am very self focused, very much a complaining israelite, unappreciative of all the manna and quail falling down upon my head in the midst of moving our tent from one part of the land to another.  i am full of complaint instead of compliance to His will, of terseness rather than thanksgiving for His provision. according to the written Word, this is a complaint against the Lord who is among me (numbers 11:20).  i am glad He knows my frame, that i am but dust but values me anyway, enough to save me from what i deserve through His Son rather than punish me according to my transgressions. (the bolded and italicized parts below are mine.)

11/24/08
From Whom All Blessings Flow
Jill Carattini

The four lines of what is commonly known as the Doxology have been sung for
more than three hundred years.  

Praise God from whom all blessings flow.  
Praise Him all creatures here below.  
Praise Him above ye heavenly host.  
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.
It has been said that the Doxology, which literally means words of glory,
has done more to teach the doctrine of the Trinity than all the
theological books ever written.  To this day, when I sing those powerful
lines, I recall the colorful lesson of my first grade Sunday school
teacher.  With something like cookie dough and bologna magically falling
down on the table before us, she read us the story of a God who made the
heavens rain bread and quail so that his grumbling people might be
satisfied and know that God is God.  I was impressed.  And when we sung
the Doxology at the end of the service, I thought it immensely helpful
that I knew a little more of what it means when we sing that God is the
God from whom all blessings flow.      
  
Cornelius Plantinga Jr. once made the pointed comment that “it must be an
odd feeling to be thankful to nobody in particular.”  He was commenting on
the odd phenomenon of finding, especially around the American celebration
of Thanksgiving, so many people thankful “in general.”  To be thankful “in
general” is very strange, he concluded.  “It’s a little like being married
in general.”(1)  Of course, his words are not dismissing the thought that
it is good to give thanks in all circumstances.  Rather, Plantinga raises
an important philosophical question.  Can one be thankful in general,
thankful for the blessings that flow, without acknowledging from where or
from whom they might be flowing? 

In what remains a revealing look at human nature, Moses describes life
after Egypt.  Rescued Israel was a grumbling people sick of manna, wailing
for meat, even longing to go back to the land God had mightily delivered
them from.  Though their daily bread was actually falling from heaven,
they wanted more.  In the midst of their discontent, Moses revealed God’s
promise for meat, but added the wake up call: “You have rejected the Lord,
who is among you” (Numbers 11:20).      

To our grumbling prone lips, these words are quite revealing.  If being
thankful is by nature being aware and appreciative of things beyond
ourselves, complaining is refusing to see anything but ourselves. 
It is refusing to see the one who is among us.  Moreover, it is an
expression that serves only to affirm our own expectations, whether they
are based on faulty visions of reality or not.  Certainly the Israelites
did not want to go back into captivity, but in their grumbling even
slavery began to look inviting.  Likewise, the falling bread from heaven
ceased to be a remarkable sign of provision from the Father, but
remarkably, a sign of monotony and their own dreariness.  

Our complaints are not only a choice to overlook the blessings around us,
but the choice not to ask where or from whom our blessings come. 
Thanksgiving, on the other hand, makes the choice to inquire.  Being
thankful is therefore always more than a glib note of gratitude or a warm
sentiment in general; it requires something far more personal.  It
not only chooses to recognize the gifts before us, but recognizes that
there must also be a giver.  There is someone to thank.  There is one
from whom all blessings flow.  

Jill Carattini is managing editor of A Slice of Infinity at Ravi
Zacharias International Ministries in Atlanta, Georgia.

(1) Cornelius Plantinga, Jr., “Assurances of the Heart” Christianity
Today, Vol. 39, no. 13.


-------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright (c) 2008 Ravi Zacharias International Ministries (RZIM)
"A Slice of Infinity" is aimed at reaching into the culture with words of
challenge, words of truth, and words of hope. If you know of others who
would enjoy receiving "A Slice of Infinity" in their email box each day,
tell them they can sign up on our website at
http://www.rzim.org/slice/slice.php.  If they do not have access to the
World Wide Web, please call 1-877-88SLICE (1-877-887-5423).

self care

some of us are better at self care than others. some do it naturally and don't have to work on it. i'm not one of those. i have to work at self care since i've been so other-focused all my life....but i'm gettin' better. what do i mean by self care? doing things just for me. remember dr. laura's adage tho: nothing fattening, illegal or immoral. uh, um, i'll take two out of three of hers.

i'm typically such a caretaker of others -  a mama, wife, teacher/caretaker in my work. God made us girl types this way, to be the caretakers of this world, even if we work outside the home as well. but what about me? not in a selfish think-i'll-go-to-paris-and-forget-all-this responsibility-stuff (tho that's not a bad idea). {{when i turned 40 i began reading fiction ravenously. before then, i'd read a lot of psychobabble books. one of the beach books i read was about a woman who was so fed up with taking care of others without any appreciation in return, she just walked away from the literal beach vacation, left her family without g'bye, got herself a job and a room in a nearby town. later she DID reconcile, i know you were worried....not a real good idea to put in THIS head o mine. that's why God's Word points us to prov 4:23, phil 4:8 among many others....}}

back to self care....on a daily or regular basis, what do i do to take care of ME? here's a list of some things i do. but paleeeaazzzz don't hear what i'm not saying:  i'm not talking about swinging over to the other side - doing everything for me, nothing for others. balance, girls. balance.

1. rub lotion on my feet when i get in bed at nite.

2. treat myself to coke and popcorn (homemade is the best) for supper on sunday nite in front of the tv in my bedroom. (i used to think tv in bedroom = sin. i was plumb wrong on that one.)

3. when i can blow the money, i go have a mani/pedi at CK salon up the street (hint: i take my own polish for them to use so i can do my own touchups at home to make it last longer).

4. go have my hair washed and blown dry just 'cause.

5. when i travel by air, i always buy a paperback book in the airport bookstore as a treat. it feels so extravagant.

6. when husband is out of town, i pick up us pizza just for me and bring it home, i gotta, it's tradition now.

7. try to have a good book going at all times (with all the falderal in my present life, concentration's not all that great. i'm reading one and another's in line but not getting much read end of day right now).

8. i take at least one girls' trip annually and then i really blow the dollars on mani/pedis and such (hopefully i've saved cash for this but sometimes i go anyway).

9. twice now, i have treated myself (tho once was a mother's day gift so that doesn't count) to a....facial. oy. again i say oy. i wept during the first facial. (if you want a rec for this esthetician, let me know). she said "you okay?"  i said "yes, it just feels so good for someone else to take care of me for a change."

and the 10th thing i do for selfcare??? (a la letterman)

10. go to an alanon meeting, just for me.

i hope you have your own list. whatever is JUST FOR YOU. whatever helps you get by, nurturing yourself as you are nurturing others, in this very serious life we live as sojourners here on earth, passing by on our way to heaven. 

verbal boundaries: PART TWO

here’s a list of phrases to use in your relationships when you are wanting to address these sorts of scenarios (mentioned in yesterday's blog). some of these scenarios are extreme, i hope you never encounter them.  unfortunately, i have counseled those who have. some phrases are repetitious but it helps you - the boundary setter - to hear/read the same things said in different ways.  it also helps the recipient of your boundary message to hear things said in different ways....HOW you say what you say makes a world of difference. work on being gentle in spirit, not sarcastic, but firm.  boundaries aren't to be lorded over someone's head so-to-speak. use discretion. it bears repeating what i said y'day:  i recommend all the books on boundaires by drs. cloud and townsend, there's a whole series.

1. I know you love me, but what you’re saying doesn’t feel like love.
2. I know you love me, but the questions you’re asking me don’t feel like love.
3. Please don’t ask any more about that.
4. I don't appreciate what you've just said.  Please don't ever say that to me again.
5. I'm not comfortable sharing that.
6. You might be right.
7. You might be right, but I don't want you to say that to me any more.
8. I'm not comfortable going into that. 
9. My decision on that (whatever-it-is) is final.
10. I don’t want to discuss it any further.
11. I didn’t ask for your input.  Right now I just want you to listen.  That’s what’s helpful to me right now.
12. No, please don’t go further into it.  I’m not ready to hear your thoughts about that.
13. No, please just stop.
14. Okay, since you’re not stopping, I’m getting off the phone, leaving the room (depending upon your situation).
15. What you just said hurts me.  Please stop that line of talk.
16. What you just said offends me. Please don’t say that again.
17. It is not acceptable to call me names.
18. I didn’t say you’re responsible for my feelings, I just asked you to not say that to me.
19. The words you are using are unacceptable to me.  If you don’t stop, I’m getting off the phone.
20. If you don’t stop, I’m leaving the room.
21. If I leave the room and you follow, I will lock my door.
22. If I feel threatened by you, I will call the police.
23. I don’t want to talk about it.
24. Thank you for your concern.
25. I wasn’t asking for feedback.  I just want you to listen to me right now.
26. You can do what you want to about that, I’m just telling you what I’m going to do.
27. I love you.  This is not about my not loving you.  I’m trying to take care of myself.
28. No.
29. No is a complete sentence.
30. Your behavior is unacceptable to me.
31. Your words are unacceptable to me.
32. That is unacceptable to me.

HBF/07

verbal boundaries: PART ONE

i found this handout in my msw files last nite when looking for something else. thot i'd share it today. i'll share part two tomorrow. to read more on the subject i highly recommend boundaries, by cloud and townsend written from a biblical perspective.

THE CHALLENGE OF SETTING VERBAL BOUNDARIES IN OUR RELATIONSHIPS

What can we say to someone when we’re in the middle of a conversation (on the phone, in person) and it’s going south?  We have this nudge in our spirits that this isn’t the way we want folks to talk to us, but how do we change the direction of the conversation or halt it altogether?  What if they bring up something we don’t want to discuss?  What if we’ve been taught that we’re too sensitive and if what our neighbor says upsets us, it’s our fault because we’re just too sensitive. Or taught that if we don’t let others speak their minds to us, it’s just plain wrong, we’re being selfish.  And if we don’t let them speak it, we’ll lose them temporarily or altogether?  What if when we’ve tried to speak up for ourselves, we’ve been given the silent treatment?  Or it makes things worse?  These dilemmas come up repeatedly in my own life and in my counseling of others.

There is a belief system underneath the pursuit of setting healthy verbal boundaries that goes something like this: 

*I am a separate person from my “proverbial” neighbor and have unique feelings, needs, wants, God’s made me this way, praise Him!

*It’s good and right for me to take care of myself in relationships.

*It’s good and right for me to decide what’s acceptable and what’s unacceptable to me.

*It’s good for me to tune in to what others say that hurts me, rather than ignoring it, so I can address it.

*It’s my responsibility to know what hurts, doesn’t feel good and right in relationships.

*It’s my responsibility to know what feels good and supportive in relationships.

*My neighbors do not know their effect upon me if I don’t tell them.

*Others cannot read my mind.

*Just because I wouldn’t say something negative or untoward to another person doesn’t mean someone else wouldn’t say that to me.

*It’s not okay for others to hurt me with their words.

*(While I’m at it) It’s not okay for me to hurt others with my words.

*It’s not loving towards myself, to continue to allow my neighbor to hurt me. 

*It’s not loving towards my neighbor, to continue to allow him to hurt me.

*It is a loving thing for me to set boundaries with my neighbor.

*It pleases God when I am direct in my relationships. (He was very direct!)

*It pleases God when I don’t hide who I am, at my expense, to please another person. (He’s not codependent, worried about, and trying to control what others think of Him!)

*I will have to repeatedly set boundaries with someone because once is rarely enough.

*I can’t expect my neighbor to “get it” because I set a boundary one time.

*I’m not responsible to make sure I set the boundary the elusively right way so that my neighbor gets it.

*I am responsible to continue to set the boundary as long as it’s necessary, as long as it’s an issue.

*I am encouraged to pray for self-control, not control of others.

*I am encouraged to be angry but not sin.

*I’m encouraged to speak the truth in love.

*I’m not responsible for the outcome when I set boundaries and the outcome is not a cosmic message that boundaries don’t work!

*Let your goal be:  at the earliest hint of offense, set a boundary.  Not after minutes or hours.  Sometimes it takes a long time for us to increase our awareness of when our boundaries have been violated, one reason it takes so long for us to take up for ourselves.  Be patient with yourself in the learning process.                                                                            

 HBF/o7

collections

i'm packing up my house to move to a new neighborhood, to start a new chapter of my life.  my hope at this point in the packing process, is i won't have to move again until my mansion in heaven or an old folks home. one feels that way in the middle of so much muckety muck of moving. haven't even gotten to the garage or attic! yikes!

while packing, sometimes i'm very appreciative and sentimental about all my pretty things, other times not so much. i have way too many "collections" that i started long ago. i remember mother encouraging me to start collecting something. my first one was of elephant pictures, not statues, but pictures. don't ask me why. haven't a clue. i think i have four or five of those left (many have since gone the way of garage sales).

i've a collection of teapots and teacups. small perfume bottles. pitchers. old books like my childhood nancy drews, other classics and a recently begun collection of used rosamund pilchers hardbacks (a great english author). oy vay! no wonder i've got so much packin' to do!

now to the point of my story:  one day, i was counseling a precious client and she was crying.  i was trying to encourage her that it is GOOD to cry and to let out those tears.  she was saying "but what's the point? nothing changes. i'm still crying after so long. it doesn't seem to help anything." 

when counseling others, sometimes i open my mouth and out comes what could only be the Holy Spirit. i'm sure you've encountered this, too, when encouraging or counseling someone.  i said:  you know what? you know my collection of blue and white plates i have in my den in my home? God collects your tears and places them in a bottle.  (psalm 56:8) He has a tear collection! and apparently a bottle collection as well! He collects your tears. they are precious to him, even more so than the many worldly "moth and rust destroy" things we collect.  (matthew 6:19-20) we pondered that for a few moments and the Lord encouraged us both.

fifty dollars

the Word says "don't let the left hand know what the right hand is doing." (Mat 6:3)  i hope in telling this story, i'm not breaking that principle. i thot it might be an encouragement to you.

last year sometime (coulda been this year, it's been a long 2008), we received an envelope addressed to us in writing we did not recognize with no return address. included within:  one 50 dollar bill.

i put that envelope in my prayer journal along with other precious things i stick in the back to savor and use for encouragement during my prayer time. i held on to it for the longest time. i turned it over and over. inspected it. smelled it. wondered about it. thanked God for it. i could not spend it. no way could i take it to the grocery store. or pay a bill with it. i wondered who had sent it. why had they sent it? what had i said that led them to do it? what had God said to them that led them to do it? whose writing was on the front of it? was it an angel unaware who'd done it?

many months later a need came up in another's life. i decided to bless because i'd been blessed. i asked my next-door neighbor to address an envelope so the writing wouldn't be recognized and put that same 50 dollar bill in a new envelope and mailed it. (i still have the original envelope in the back of my prayer journal.)

i have a draft blog entitled "you can't out give God" and i wanna write about that. this is similar but different.  someone had blessed me with HOPE (Rom 15:13) when i received that envelope.  not money. but HOPE.  that the God of HOPE was going to take care of me. that the God who owns the cattle on 1000 hills (Psa 50:10) had and would continue to take care of me and mine.

and that's the HOPE i wanted to share with the friend i sent it to.  if he/she went straight to the grocery store for bread and milk, then that's what was needed. none of my business. i just did what i was told to do.

BIG PS:  if you sent me the money or you received the money from me, please DO NOT SPEAK A WORD OF IT.  Shuuuuusssshhhhhhhhhh. let that be just between us and the Lord.  praise Him!!

pets as therapy

ever heard of canine therapy? how about equine assisted therapy? both are used in and out of treatment centers today.  pet therapy is also used in nursing homes, children's hospitals (like a friend of mine does with her puppy). an article in the local 06 or '07 paper said dr. joe bradley's elder psych unit at st. vincents uses pet therapy.....then howz about folks since time immemorial who've just had pets who were so much "therapy" before the word therapy came along? (my mama tells the story of being very close to the family milk cow 

and her brother one of the chickens.)

when raising our kids, no way would we get 'em a dog. too much work and we knew we'd be the ones doing it. we did have 2 wonderful cats but they're such low maintenance, detached types - great for parents but not very therapeutic for kids. an arguable point, but this was our experience.

last year, during a very difficult time, our adult son got a lap puppy. "therapeutic" friends for life! he even took him on that 9500 mile trip. but, really now, who would want to be in a vehicle for that long with a dog, especially a very huge, shedding, stinking, slobbering one? and when possible, he was let off the leash to run free!  one time he found four deer feet. my son threw them as far as he could over some fence in some forest.....back they came in chance's mouth. yum!

in june '08, a beautiful white doggie appeared looking lost. all our (adult) daughter had to say was "here puppy!" they were in love, end of story. she put up signs, owners claimed her, they were placing for adoption, did dau. want her???  she was also going thru a difficult time and God had brought her a therapy dog right to her front door! 3 years old, no puppy stage, no trainin'. perfect. and o so sweet a personality. named her selah like in the psalms, a musical amen. no deer feet for her but so far she's killed a bird, several chipmunks and a squirrel. chance does the honors of eating the kill. it's all in the hunt for her.

and now i've got my therapy pet.  you might say i'm going thru a bit of a hard time and could use some extra TLC.  kitty viva is the snuggliest little buddy i could ever have. she naps with me and even....don't be grossed out.....sleeps with me!  i tell her all my problems, just like i told boppy, my childhood doggie, and she's so supportive!

The Lord God knew what He was doing (as always) when He determined dogs (i mean pets) to be man's best (therapy) friends. praise Him from whom all blessings flow. praise Him all creatures here below. praise Him all dogs and cats and other pets. praise Father Son and Holy Ghost, Amen.

ps:   i wrote the above blog in an amorous state. but now, ok, forget it. the deal's off. sat. nite at 12:45 am, my dau. bursts thru the bedroom door "help, both dogs escaped the fence and i need help getting them back in and securing the fence!" then kitty was wide awake after such excitement, stayed up most the nite licking and nibbling (biting), making a fuss. all pet owners know therez a down side to animals so this is no surprise! ;)

whatll i do?

Irving Berlin, 1923

Whatll I Do

here's the song i keep humming and singing to my kitty viva. it's a hauntingly beautiful song. berlin must be my cuzzin or something because he was born in russia. i had to have 2 folks help me find the lyrics on line since i'll always be a newcomer to cyberspace. you may recognize the song from "the great gatsby" and it's been sung by countless artists.

berlin was born israel isidore baline to his parents leah and mosheh. his father was a cantor who also certified kosher meat for a living. berlin couldn't read music beyond beginner's level and was a self-taught pianist. 

i guess on some level i'm already afraid of losing my viva girl now that i've found her. yes, i'm one of those people who worry in advance, grieve in advance of loss. borrow trouble, that sort of thing.  in reflecting a bit more, there's other current grief:  leaving the house we've been raising our kids in for 12 years, launching them from our nest, being in my 50's, some other losses i can't share on my blog.

i'm "recovering" from these melancholy ways and God is faithful to "sanctify" me but they run deep within. anti-depressants don't change one's personality, neither does years of therapy, 12-steps, or so much dear love from my brothers and sisters in Christ, nor most of all The love from my God and King. who we are is just so permanent. and grief is a permanent part of life.

Gone is the romance that was so divine. 

tis broken and cannot be mended. You must go your way, 

And I must go mine. 

But now that our love dreams have ended... 

Whatll I do 

When you are far away

And I am blue

Whatll I do?  

Whatll I do?  

When I am wondring who 

Is kissing you 

Whatll I do?  

Whatll I do with just a photograph To tell my troubles to?  

When Im alone 

With only dreams of you 

That wont come true 

Whatll I do?  

Whatll I do with just a photograph To tell my troubles to?  

When Im alone 

With only dreams of you 

That wont come true 

Whatll I do?

spiritual roots

i come from a blessed and wonderful spiritual background. my father was raised in an orthodox, jewish home with 2 siblings on the south side of chicago. his parents immigrated here from russia.  there was never any proselytising on my grandparents' part, because modern day jews don't believe in that. i am privileged to have his parents' passover dishes (the only china we have). i learned a bit of yiddish from dad and his family growing up. i wish i knew more. i bought a great book on yiddish at the library sale a few years back which helps some. mostly i just say oy vay! a lot, the easiest to remember and use.

my mother was raised with 13 siblings in a very orthodox, pentecostal home in the sticks of arkansas. anyone heard of point cedar?  her parents have irish roots, tho i don't know much else right off hand about their immigration history.  there's native american indian somewhere in the family.  mama took a fabulous trip with one of her 6 brothers to ireland several years back. 

my granny and papa DID share their faith and used to read the KJV bible to us grandchildren when we'd stay over. i LOVED it and they were my spiritual parents. it was scary when they talked "hell, fire and damnation" but i still connected with the God they shared with me and His love came through. it also helped that in elementary school i went to the baptist church with my friend cindy and her parents where i became a christian at the age of ten.  maybe the baptists helped temper my grandparents' fear-oriented theology.

suffice it to say each of my parents rebelled against their roots in marrying one another. neither was banished from his/her respective family which i find amazing.  another of my mother's sisters married a jewish man from michigan (close to illinois), also named bill!

so when dad and mama were raising the 5 of us kids it was : whatever you want to believe is fine with us. you wanna go to the baptist church? go ahead. you wanna be baptised? no problem. you want money off my dresser (my dad's) for the offering plate? fine. (that's a really sweet memory.)  you want to believe in nothing, that's up to you.....well, now that i think on it, dad did get real upset when my younger brother came home from the baptist church he attended and told my dad he was going to hell.  he continued to attend a while longer but is the agnostic today.

best i recall, 3 out of 5 of us did visit churches. 2 did not. some of us, don't know who in addition to me, visited the tent revival meetings with granny and papa. currently, 2 of us go to church, 1 converted to judaism, one is agnostic and the other lives in santa fe NM so that might tell you of his eclectic spiritual leanings. mama doesn't go to church. dad died in 1997 and i believe he had a death-bed conversion but that's a real long story and some folks might interpret that as wishful thinking.

growing up, every year we had a christmas tree (beautiful ones, mama is very talented) with a star of david she made on top of the tree to honor my dad's jewishness. we always had a traditional jewish lox and bagel breakfast on c'mas morn and typically ate corned beef on c'mas eve. we had homemade stockings hung by the chimney with care filled with old fashioned hard candy, halvah (a jewish candy made of sesame seeds), horoscope books and other goodies. yes, i did say horoscope books. there was no Jesus in our c'mas but at least we did have christmases and they were wonderful!

there's a book or five i could write on all this but since i tend to write posts that are way too long, i'll just leave it be for now.

hat tip to a.s. for encouraging me to write about being from jewish and pentecostal "stock." 

confession

i attend a wonderful church, covenant presbyterian, pca, here in little rock. part and parcel of every service is confession.  sometimes, our pastor uses an ancient yet very up-to-date puritan prayer of confession. here's one that is so beautiful, touching and true that i wanted to share it. 

O God of Grace,

You have imputed my sin to my substitute,

and have imputed His righteousness to my soul,

clothing me with a bridegroom's robe,

decking me with jewels of holiness.

But in my Christian walk I am still in rags;

my best prayers are stained with sin;

my penitential tears are so much impurity;

my confessions of wrong are so many aggravations of sin;

my receiving the Spirit is tinctured with selfishness.

I need to repent of my repentance;

I need my tears to be washed;

I have no robe to bring to cover my sins,

no loom to weave my own righteousness;

I am always standing clothed in filthy garments, 

and by grace am always receiving change of raiment,

for You always justify the ungodly;

I am always going into the far country,

and always returning home as a prodigal,

always saying, Father, forgive me,

and You are always bringing forth the best robe.

Every morning let me wear it, every evening return in it,

go out to the day's work in it, be married in it,

be wound in death in it, stand before the great white throne in it,

enter heaven in it shining as the sun.

Grant me never to lose sight of the exceeding sinfulness of sin,

the exceeding righteousness of salvation,

the exceeding glory of Christ,

the exceeding beauty of holiness.

the exceeding wonder of grace.

Amen.

(taken from "The Valley of Vision: Puritan Prayers and Devotions"; copyright permission granted to my church by Banner of Truth Trust)

dysfunction

i really don't appreciate the message of this pic han found on line. "the only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you."

well, how rude.....but there's a lot of  truth to it.

reminds me of what i'm learning in alanon.  it's a recovery program for family members of alcoholics but their wisdom applies to all relationships and life in general.

some of their sayings are: the argument begins with my reply. my business stops at the end of my nose.  i teach others how to treat me. 

hard to swallow but i guess that's true of wisdom in general for me.

four posts in one day

i think i owe everyone an explanation. do you ever feel that way? i'm outgrowing this belief but it's still something deep within my being. 

so i thot i'd just esplain (like ricky ricardo would say) why i'm posting 4 blogs in 1 day and have many other drafts in the queue.

i'm unemployed!  been off work since august 6th but now in a fierce hunt to find "gainful employment."

you might say i'm gettin' while the gettin's good. or making hay while the sun shines or some other favorite cliche'.

cause when i do get that gainful employment, God-willing,  i might not have as much time to blog as i do now.

second reason to blog so much:  i'm supposed to be packing up our house to move in 3 weeks and i'd much rather blog than pack! :)

ps:  you've created a monster-of-sorts miss ellen! :)

cuzzin steve

i have two first cousins, steve and barb, whom i love, on my dad's side of the family. they live in chicago and are from my wonderful russian, jewish roots.

(it's ironic that i have 55 first cousins ((no joke)) on my mother's side, from my very contrasting-to-dad's, wonderful pentecostal, irish roots.)

i wanna tell you about steve today. he is a fabulous photographer and you just gotta - if you like pics and/or taking pics - check out his website.  i don't think fabulous is a strong enuf word. of course i'm proud and partial.

he just updated the website.  don't forget (like i did til han showed me) that there's lots o stuff to click on at the bottom of the website that take you to other amazing pics. he's got FAMOUS clients and everything. there's a pic of paula deen! and obama and the donald!  and david swimmer and other actors and models. oy! i'm so proud and real impressed. now i'm not saying obama said he could take that pic. i might be lying if i said that. i don't know exactly how he got all the ones he did.......

but his real claim to fame is that he's my cuzzin' of course!

Steve Becker Photography

am i crazy?

YOU ARE NOT CRAZY!

Crazy in Random House Webster’s College Dictionary (1992): 

cra.zy ,  -adj. 1. mentally deranged; insane. 2. impractical; totally unsound:  a crazy scheme. 3. intensely eager or enthusiastic. 4. infatuated (usu. fol. by about). 5. unusual; bizarre. 6. slang. wonderful; perfect.  -noun. 7. slang. an unpredictable person; oddball:  one nice sister and two crazies.  -idiom. 8. like crazy. slang. with great enthusiasm or energy:  we worked like crazy all morning. 

Often my clients think they are crazy.  The dictionary definitions are many and our culture’s use of the word is varied!  This one little word can mean so many things and be used in so many ways – constructively and destructively.   Here are a few of my thoughts on what crazy is and isn’t.  Primarily I’d like to say that if you’re seeking counsel, you are definitely NOT crazy.  But then that’s just my crazy opinion for what it’s worth! J

Crazy is a feeling

Crazy is an expletive

Crazy is an accusation

Crazy is the weather

Crazy is my hair’s doing crazy things

Crazy is I’m crazy in love

Crazy is a crazy good time

Crazy is I’m crazy about you

Crazy is (I feel like) I’m going crazy

Crazy is (I feel like) you’re driving me crazy

Crazy is (I feel like) you’re making me crazy

Crazy is crazy behavior

Crazy is crazy-making behavior

Crazy is I’m having crazy thoughts

Crazy is not a diagnosis in the DSM IV (diagnostic manual of the American Psychiatric Association)

Crazy is not I have a mood disorder

Crazy is not I’m on medication

Crazy is not I’m going to a counselor

Crazy is not I need a 12-step program

Crazy is not I need or needed hospitalization

 HBF 5.07

movie that made me laugh

i know i watched woody allen's several oscar winner "annie hall" when it first came out in 1977

but friday nite i watched it again. (it won 4 oscars, was nominated for a 5th, one a golden globe and a bafta, british academy of film and television awards if you care to know.) (at least this is what wikipedia told me.) i was shocked at the PG rating, today surely it'd at least get PG13. today i don't think i'd see one of his movies because i know too much about his personal life. i hate that this sometimes gets in my way in my willingness to see a show because i've heard some truth/gossip about the actors' lives.  

btw, point of interest and confession, i was accused in the 1990's by dear fam and friends that i'm a movie addict. when first accused, i added up the films i'd seen that week, and sure enough, had to agree with their assessment.  okay, so now, i'm a recovering movie addict. really, ask them, i think they'd say i'm better. (wonder if there's a 12 step program for this.)

i must admit i hooted out loud several times during "annie hall" as it is definitely a shrink loving, psychotherapy loving movie. at one point alvy who's been seeing a shrink for 15 years where he lies down on a couch pays for his girlfriend annie's therapy but she sits in a chair. wonder that.  and she gets so much well-er in such a short amount of time, she breaks up with him. now that's funny. (for those of you who don't know me, i'm a shrink, via social worker way, not psychiatrist way.)

there was a great joke at the end (alvy is a stand up comic). i didn't write it down but i'll try to reproduce here without permission.

a guy was telling the doc: "my brother thinks he's a chicken."  the doc says "well, turn him over to the authorities."  the guy then says:  "i can't. i need the eggs he lays."

gotta laugh that we're all a bit insane and holding on with dear life to what sanity we have left.

my little bumble bee

han works at children's hospital and employees were encouraged to dress up for work last friday.  she dressed up as a bumble bee, complete with wings and antennae.  precious!

she said one little boy asked "what kind of bee are you?" she answered:  "a bumble bee."  he said "i thought you were a yellow jacket. i'm a serial killer." yikes!

i thot it hilarious when she sent me a link to the costume she bought. the link said : sexy-bee-adult-costume. she assured me she'd be wearing a black t on top and black pants on bottom instead of black fishnet stockings and 4 inch clear plastic shoes the website was recommending! we got many a hoot outta this.

here's a cute pic of her in her fun costume! isn't she just a beauty?

buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

VIVA

my goal is not to post on sundays (day of rest, doncha know) but i already had these as drafts and i couldn't wait to post them cause of the fun pics han finally helped me with.

enjoy!

here's some pics of our newest family member VIVA!

isn't she precious? she's such a soothing presence, very affectionate, has a loud purring motor when she's snuggling and she is quite the snuggle bug.  like a good anti-anxiety medication with NO side effects (except a litter box needing scooped occasionally!).

goes perty cute with my beautiful favorite daughter, huh? (never fear, i only have one daughter.)

purrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

invisible sufferers

most of my blogs are so serious! well, here's yet another.  i guess i'm just a serious kinda girl.

i was searching 'round for something the other day and came across a whole website for those with invisible chronic illnesses like fibromyalgia, depression and more. those of us who may look healthy on the outside but there's definitely illness on the inside. there are many of us with chronic illness but we don't necessarily qualify to hook a blue wheelchair disabled thingie on our car. or you may actually have one of those decals but people look at you angrily when you park in a handicapped spot like "what's wrong with you? you're fine. you're just a cheatin'."  you may be one of those types like me with an illness others can't see right off hand.

here's a sample of what they offer, sent to me by a friend who likes the site.

Shakin' With Fear

Posted by: "Rest Ministries" myrestmin@grouply.com   myrestmin

Tue Nov 4, 2008 2:34 am (PST)

"Do not fear ....The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he
will rejoice over you with singing" (Zephaniah 3:17).

Not long ago we adopted a puppy. We called her Sugar. It was almost
love at first sight, for her and for us. Of course she needed some
training. But we had trained pups before, and felt the effort
required would be well worth it. Sugar was a lap dog, fun and furry,
sweet but spunky. She gave us pleasure with her clown-like personality
and loving disposition. It was great to come home and experience her
animated welcome.

But two months later, my husband was diagnosed with pulmonary emboli
(blood clots on the lungs), a life-threatening condition. He
experienced shortness of breath and depleted energy. Doctor's orders
severely restricted his activities for weeks. For that reason, more of
Sugar's care depended on me–though I also have significant health
issues. After a few weeks, we began to see that something had to give.
One day my husband said, "We'll have to take her back!"

I knew he was right, but it broke my heart. We made arrangements to
meet the breeder's husband part-way between their home and ours. When
the parting came, I wanted to hold Sugar one more time. And I was the
one to put her into the arms of someone we barely knew. As soon as he
reached for her, Sugar started to shake with fear. She was going back
to a place where I knew she'd get good care, before some other caring
person adopted her. But how do you explain that to a puppy who feels
abandoned?

That can happen to us too, can't it? We may wonder why God is allowing
the pain, and the difficult changes in our lifestyle. We may even feel
abandoned. But we can be assured that the promise above is true. God
will gently carry us through, and there are blessings up ahead we
can't even begin to imagine.

~~~*~~~*~~~* ~~~*~~~*~ ~~*~~~*~~ ~*~~~*

Beth Cottrill lives in a small town in central Saskatchewn with her
husband, a retired pastor. Her son, his wife and two young
grandchildren are in Mexico City in missionary work and she misses
them a lot. She has suffered with depression most of her life, but is
getting to know God better all the time and His love is setting her
free from many fears.

if any of you are interested in this, you can check it out at:

 restministries.org

cats and dogs

there's a lot said about the difference between cats and dogs (understatement).

heard an hilarious bit at a missions conference a while back, told by Rev. Harry Reeder. his version was long and funnily told but my shorter version goes something like this:  the doggie says "oh, thank you for feeding me, petting me, loving me. you must be god."  the kitty says "oh, you feed me, scoop my poop and let me rub your leg when i want to. i must be god." then he made an excellent spiritual analogy, but i don't recall that at the moment and, anyway, it's irrelevant to the matter at hand.

yesterday, a new thot occurred to me re: the diff between pups and kits. now since there's nothing new under the sun (i like that verse so much, maybe i'll change the title of my blog), i'm not saying someone hasn't already figgered this out.

i have a few alcoholics in my life (it runs in my family) and also lots of codependents (it runs in my family).  i'm one of the codependents, btw, but only by God's grace and the chemical makeup He gave me. 

well, relating to my new baby kitty today made me think:  dang it! she's just like the alcoholics in my life. i wanna love up on them. i want them to love up on me. but nooooo......it's all gotta be according to their agenda. us codependents are often accused of being controlling. no way! it's the alcoholics, i mean cats, that are the controllers of the world.  

i asked VIVA,  puleeeease take a nap with me. there she was just a nappin' and she was on the bed at least, she gave me that,  but there was no way she'd snuggle up next to me like i begged for. (okay, i confess, i tried to control her. must make amends.) it's got to be her way or the highway (i love cliches, they just work). and when, in her sleepy state, i tried to gently pull her close to lay next to me (trying the subtle sneak and get my way like a good little codependent does), what came out? her claws and her little biting teeth. catch the analogy here? one cannot control/convince/cajole an alcoholic cat. i mean an alcoholic or a cat or make either do anything they dun wanna.

now if it was one of the two, sweet, wonderful codependent pups in our backyard, they'd say "oh yes, where do you want me to sleep? see, my tail is wagging, anyone for fetch? can we play fetch while we nap? i wanna make you SO happy. be glad to. i'm there. tell me when, where and how and i'll come thru for you." that's the codependency in them.

so there's cats and dogs. alcoholics and the codependents who love them with mutual driving the other crazy. i love 'em all. viva la difference!

those of you who know of which i speak - personalities of cats and dogs - and personalities of alcoholics and their codependent counterparts  -   can relate to what i'm saying. if you can't relate, no worries, the Lord has blessed you with a different type of angst!