whatll i do?

Irving Berlin, 1923

Whatll I Do

here's the song i keep humming and singing to my kitty viva. it's a hauntingly beautiful song. berlin must be my cuzzin or something because he was born in russia. i had to have 2 folks help me find the lyrics on line since i'll always be a newcomer to cyberspace. you may recognize the song from "the great gatsby" and it's been sung by countless artists.

berlin was born israel isidore baline to his parents leah and mosheh. his father was a cantor who also certified kosher meat for a living. berlin couldn't read music beyond beginner's level and was a self-taught pianist. 

i guess on some level i'm already afraid of losing my viva girl now that i've found her. yes, i'm one of those people who worry in advance, grieve in advance of loss. borrow trouble, that sort of thing.  in reflecting a bit more, there's other current grief:  leaving the house we've been raising our kids in for 12 years, launching them from our nest, being in my 50's, some other losses i can't share on my blog.

i'm "recovering" from these melancholy ways and God is faithful to "sanctify" me but they run deep within. anti-depressants don't change one's personality, neither does years of therapy, 12-steps, or so much dear love from my brothers and sisters in Christ, nor most of all The love from my God and King. who we are is just so permanent. and grief is a permanent part of life.

Gone is the romance that was so divine. 

tis broken and cannot be mended. You must go your way, 

And I must go mine. 

But now that our love dreams have ended... 

Whatll I do 

When you are far away

And I am blue

Whatll I do?  

Whatll I do?  

When I am wondring who 

Is kissing you 

Whatll I do?  

Whatll I do with just a photograph To tell my troubles to?  

When Im alone 

With only dreams of you 

That wont come true 

Whatll I do?  

Whatll I do with just a photograph To tell my troubles to?  

When Im alone 

With only dreams of you 

That wont come true 

Whatll I do?