disputable matters and boundaries

i've written before that my granny (my mama's mama) was a pentecostal preacher. she was so precious to us all and lived until she was 98 1/2 years old, praise the Lord! she says she was the first or one of the first in arkansas to be "filled with the Holy Ghost with the evidence of speaking in tongues."  she was the happiest of believers when i was growing up - she was retired by then -  and she would tell of her days of preaching in arkansas but would always clarify  - she never thought the Word said it was okay for her to have her own church since she was a woman.

for some time granny would tell me that i was like a very clean glass, saved but not filled. like i was clean and put up on the shelf (she said it so many times, i can still see that shelf in her trailer where she lived) but i needed to be filled with the Holy Ghost with the evidence of speaking in tongues. she was worried about the salvation of many of her children and my cousins and others but with me she was worried that i didn't get this filling.  i prayed for quite a long time to receive the gift of tongues. by this time i was in college and i'd studied and i believed that if the Lord wanted to give me the gift, He would but that it was one of the lesser gifts (see 1 corin 12-14).

finally, one day, without knowing anything about paul's discussion of disputable matters (things not worth arguing over between the brethren) (see romans 14) nor anything about boundaries in relationships (see "boundaires" by drs. cloud and townsend) i said granny, you know i love the Lord. you know that i'm a christian. i've prayed for the gift of tongues. the Lord has not given me that gift. please don't mention this to me anymore.

and she never did!

there are some matters that we differ on as believers - let me change that. there are a lot of things we differ on.  some things are not worth discussing. some things certainly aren't worth going over, time and again. some things aren't worth losing a relationship over, are they?  maybe all it takes it a gentle request: please don't ask me that again. or please don't bring that up again because it hurts.  it worked for me that time with granny. and i'm still grateful to my granny that she left it alone.

she also used to sing: why do you bob your hair girl? but that's another story for another blog!

ps: this woulda been my dad's 85th b-day!